UPDATE (May 30)

So it's been 10 days since my initial outburst and I wanted to provide a little update and a few things that have transpired both physically and mentally.  Having cracked the 210lb barrier, I was thrilled to bottom out at 207 last Wednesday (before a jaunt to Las Vegas to see Alex).  It wasn't really until after the trip that I realized that 205 marks my 50 pounds lost point.  I didn't eat poorly on the trip, but never the less, I did pack on some water weight and I'm just trying to get that off at the moment.  209 this morning and I'm feeling great.  But I digress.  Thinking about that milestone, and how differently I feel in my body of late made me ask the question.  "What exactly does 50lbs of fat look like?".  Now, I have to warn you all in advance for what is in this link.  It's not exactly gross in the visual sense (not pretty either), but it's the visceral sense that is what bothers me most. 

http://www.bodytransformationlab.com/photos-of-fat/

I think the last picture is the one that gets me the most.  Really?  I have been carrying 10 of those damn things around with me?  And I'm STILL carrying another 5-10 of them?  It's hard to see that.  It's hard to let my mind come to grips with exactly what that means in terms of my body, my health, and my happiness.  Of course these thoughts are all retrospective.  I am aware of some particulars of what has changed, but I think there is a far more profound impact that getting rid of all that stuff has had on me.  A true metric that I will never be able to quantify, but I hope to feel in a qualifiable way.  Namely, I'm thinking about my quality of life, particularly as I move through my thirties, and soon into my fourties, and on.  I'm thinking about the father, grandfather, great-grandfather? I might be one day.  This fills me with a sense of responsibility that I cannot take lightly. 

With all that in mind, here's a few highlights of my physical, emotional, and overall status today.

PHYSICAL
- Routine physical activities have become just that.  Routine. 
- Not exercising as much as I'd like, but I notice my stamina is improving.
- I'm using muscles to do things that I used to use momentum for. 
- Along with that, my muscles are sorely lacking in the strength of old. 
- I don't have to consciously suck in my gut anymore.  Well, not often anyway.
- I fit into my 36" waist pants/shorts.  Unfortunately I don't own a lot of those.  <facepalm>
- Coworkers are telling me that they can REALLY see a difference
- Friends and family are doing the same
- The guy I have a weight loss bet with keeps trying to make me eat donuts

EMOTIONAL
- My physical improvement is still sinking in, but I don't hate the way I feel all the time
- My "let the small stuff go" epiphany keeps going.  It can be challenging at times, but I have not once lost my cool to the point that I couldn't get it back.
- I'm remembering that I CAN DO things, so just do them already.  Jeez.
- I can't do this alone, and all the compliments and support really are keeping me going

OVERALL
- I have an image.  A google image thank you very much, of what my "goal" body is. 
- Said image may turn out in fact to be unattainable, but as of this moment it's what I'm working toward
- The more my perception evolves, the more I want to continue on this path.  It's snowballing.

"Make me one with everything." So goes the Buddhist's humble request to the hot-dog vendor. But when the Buddhist hands over a twenty-dollar bill to the vendor, in return for his slathered bun, he waits a long time for his change. Finally asking for it, he is informed that 'change comes only from within."     -The Hitch (miss you CH)